HPSW: The Ancient and Most Secret Code of the Marauding Brethren
by AHighAndLonesomeSound
Summary: Here it is, pranksters! From the brilliant minds of Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs (with a little help from their friends) comes this annotated guide to marauding! Enjoy, and use wisely! (Tie-in to Harry Potter and the Second War, this guidebook is first mentioned in Book One, Chapter Two)
1. Chapter 1

Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

_are proud to present_

THE ANCIENT AND MOST SECRET CODE OF THE MARAUDING BRETHREN

_as written by the legendary GODRIC GRYFFINDOR and rediscovered by the Publishers in the bowels of the HOGWARTS LIBRARY_

with annotations and appendices by THE HOGWARTS MARAUDERS (the selfsame Messrs. MOONY, WORMTAIL, PADFOOT and PRONGS) themselves

and featuring

further annotations by Ms LILY EVANS

The Prankster's Bradshaw

_in a new expanded and revised edition_

**Section one: The Ten Precepts**

_**being a collection of the ten foundational rules of marauding**_

1\. Never reveal _everything_ you know.

* * *

2\. Always, always improvise.

* * *

3\. Don't hit on Lily Evans.

_Shut it, Moony! – Prongs_

_This is actually pretty funny in hindsight – Lils_

_Yeah, Moony, I proved you wrong, didn't I? – Prongs_

* * *

4\. Sirius always lies. _Always_. Except for when he's telling the truth.

_Very helpful, I'm sure – L.E._

_Hang on, what's she doing with this? – Wormtail_

_Oh dear… didn't you notice, Peter? As I write this, this is the second time I've nicked your precious guidebook as a punishment for James and Sirius being mean to Sev. I'll return it when I've finished laughing at your egos. Oh, and by the way, 'Wormtail' is a bloody stupid nickname. – Lily the Almightily Invincible Prefect Whose Wrath Knows No Bounds._

_I'll stop being mean to Snivellus if you go out with me, Evans – Prongs._

_That's IT. This is my THIRD time taking this book, and having seen that comment, Potter, I'm keeping this for a fortnight. At least. And even you can't get into the girls' dorms. – L.E._

_Melodramatic sigh… honestly Prongs, see Rule Three, you dolt. Oh, and Evans: challenge accepted. – Padfoot._

* * *

5\. Never miss an opportunity to snark.

i) Corollary – _always_ pass up on any and all opportunities to snark at McGonagall.

* * *

6\. If they're in Slytherin, whatever you're planning to do to them is automatically morally right.

i) Corollary – that _doesn't_ mean you should _actually_ put them in _genuine mortal danger_, Padfoot.

* * *

7\. Developing indispensable skills in legitimate areas of Hogwarts life is a useful way of maintaining a passable reputation among the staff while being an irrepressible prankster.

_Like being the greatest Seeker Gryffindor has ever seen. No wonder they made me Head Boy! – Prongs_

_Bighead boy, more like. – Padfoot_

* * *

8\. Nobody likes a prank that picks on the weak and defenceless.

i) Corollary – Severus 'Snivellus' Snape may be small and weedy-looking, but he knows more curses than half the seventh-years and most of his friends are Death Eater material (not to mention the Indestructible Evans). He was, is, and always shall be an acceptable target, the little shit.

* * *

9\. If after a moment's thought, it seems like a bad idea, discuss it with your friends and see if there's a way to make it a good idea.

* * *

10\. There's always a better prank.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Spirit of Adventure**

Marauders are cool. That much is obvious. We are the cool kids, the rebels, the ones playing games down the back of the class. But that's _easy_. Anyone can do that. A Marauder is so much more than that.

Firstly, believe it or not, Marauders are really very good at schoolwork. We don't care, we don't want to suck up to teachers or spend hours studying on a sunny day, but we do actually _work_. Some of the time, anyway. Do you think we'd have been able to make an enchanted, constantly-accurate map of Hogwarts that showed the location of every living person in the castle in real time if we didn't pay attention in Charms class? That our wondrous pranks would work without a decent working knowledge of Charms and Transfiguration. OK, so one of our number – naming no names, Moony – has his head stuck in a book half the time, but we all do our best to learn cool stuff in our own ways. Yes, even Prongs, when he can stop mooning over Evans.

Secondly, we're loyal to each other. We stick together, we don't rat each other out (no offence, Wormtail). We're friends. That's important. After all, what good is a hilarious prank or a cool new discovery if you don't have somebody to share it with?

Thirdly, and most importantly, we have what I like to call the spirit of adventure. We're curious, we want to find out new things – be they useful spells or handy secret passageways – and we're not afraid to get our hands dirty (well, Prongs is. He says if he looks dirty he won't impress Evans. He never manages to impress her anyway, but that's a whole other chapter in this nifty little guide). So if you want to be like us, get active. Sneak out of your dorms. Learn how to blag food from the House Elves and talk Minnie out of giving you a detention. Flatter Slughorn into telling you about an obscure-but-fun potion. Practice duelling with your mates. Learn to fly. Take long walks around the grounds and see what you can find. Learn to play chess.

Maybe, one day, if you do all this, you'll be almost as brilliant and handsome as me.

Yours awesomely,

Padfoot.


End file.
